Mama Jen

So, since it’s been eons since I wrote, I figured it’s about time I put something new up.  I don’t really have time to sit and write a whole entry, so I decided to post all my half finished posts from the past year or so.  I’m not real sure what happened with all these, and why they didn’t get done, but eh, what can I say.  Without further ado, my random ramblings in order from oldest to newest.

Uninspired
I have no clue what to write about today.  Maybe something about my weekend?  No, I didn’t do diddly shit, ummmm…..cute little story about the kids?  Maybe tomorrow, I’m not it the best of moods.  That’s it, I need to write about something that will cheer me up.  Tech school.  Tech school was fun.  Oh, we went to Pensecola a few times while we were there.

OMG!!!
Ohmigod!!! We broke RSM’s site!!! We’re sorry we are on there so much, RSM!!! I’ll donate some $$ to you to up the bandwidth if you want!!!

Cubicle Chronicles - A day in the life of…
I decided that today I’m going to let you all into the world of Jenna. That scary place where weird shit happens, and you happen to be bored a lot. I’ll spend my day showing YOU what I do all day. And off we go!  

So today was a little different than usual. Instead of the normal Tuesday and Thursday PT (Physical Training, DUH!), we had a wing photo. That consisted of the however many hundreds (probably more like a thousand or so) of people in my wing all meeting up on the flightline and getting into formations to take a picture. That was quite……what’s the word……interesting?….no……fun…….HARDLY!…….more like, FUCKING INSANE!!! DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT A STUNT LIKE THAT!!! Not only was it fucking FREEZING, we also had to deal with people who couldn’t follow instructions to save their LIVES!!! I mean, how hard is it to take off a reflective belt the first damn time you are told! Work with me people! Anyway, I wasn’t able to take a picture of that this morning, but just for my loyal audience (what are there, like 3 or 4 of you???) I WILL take a picture in my PT gear. I know, you are all just brimming over with excitement. RIGHT?! From PT I come to work and attempt (key word) to find a parking spot. There are three, count ‘em, 1 2 3, parking lots around my building. Why is it that I have to park out in BFE* half the time?! Oh, I know, it’s because there are eleventy BILLION (thanks RSM!) reserved parking spots here. There’s one for the Commander, one for the First Sergeant, one for the Executive Officer, I mean what the fuck next? One for the Commanders DOG??? (Better delete that, they might get ideas!!!) So, after spending 35 minutes looking for a parking spot, I come in to a pile of shit in my inbox.

PICTURE

Oh, but before I can do any REAL work, I have to take out the Commanders trash, and shred all her left over paper from the day before.

PICTURE

Once I’m done doing that, it’s on to the inbox (see picture above). I have to enter everything into this tracker on my computer. After that it’s time to check all my websites (Steff, RSM, Becca, etc.) 
NOTE: Ok, THIS entry?  Was almost done.  I have no idea why I abandoned it.  I even took the pictures for it, but never put them in.  I’m so lazy! 

Who taught you to drive???  Your DOG???
Will someone please tell me who the fuck designed the Oklahoma road system, because, I seriously want to punch them in the grill. Because, who REALLY thinks it’s a good idea to have the on-ramp and off-ramp be the same lane? And, these fucked up road systems have caused the large majority of drivers to go retarded.

She’s on the move!
BabyGirl can now “Army Crawl”. NOTE: There was a video to go with this, but for some reason I couldn’t get the code to work, so I gave up.

Post #95
What a wonderful way to start the fucking day.  I get a call at 0435 in the morning telling me we’re having a recall and to report to work by 0600.  Fucking fabulous, but whatever.  Fine.  So I get up and get dressed and get the kids ready.  I get out of the house by 0530 and drop the kids off at the babysitter’s and get to work with a couple minutes to spare.  There was a shit-ton of people in the hallway waiting to sign-in.  I’m standing there, and the Shirt announces that it’s a mass urine analysis.  A fucking piss test.  Thanks for letting me know, ’cause it’s not like I pissed when I got up or anything.  Operation Golden Flow for all!  So, after SIX fucking bottles of water I was finally able to go.  Just great.  So the rest of the day, I’ll be getting up every two minutes to pee.  Lovely.  The people I feel really bad for?  They’re the ones that can’t pee in front of people (because, you know, the person has to watch you ACTUALLY pee.  Gross.)  The poor people that are STILL sitting here waiting to pee.  The ones that will be here for another hour or two.  It’s already been two and a half hours since we all got here, and then waiting another hour?  I’d want to die.  (Ok, so apparently I’m the slowest blogger EVER, and it’s now been a little over 4 hours since we got here, oops.) 
NOTE: So I really AM the worst blogger ever.  It’s now been MONTHS since I started this entry!!!  I rule.

Post #96
Alright, so I’m SERIOUSLY slackin’ here.  Sorry.  Things are just SO.FUCKING.HECTIC right now.  I’m sick, D-Bo’s sick, work’s crazy, it just all pretty much sucks.  One good thing is that a replacement was finally found for me at work.  YEAY!  I’m in the process of training him, so by the beginning of February, I should be done being the secretary.  Let’s say it again, people.  YEAY!!!! 

Post #108
NOTE: Ok, so I guess this one was supposed to be a video that never worked.  Oh well.

How the hell is it already MAY???! (NOTE: Haha, this tells you how old some of these really are!)
WARNING: This entry will be EXTREMELY random.  Fair warning.

Wow, everything around here has been a little crazy.  We’re finally moved into our house, which is awesome, but we don’t have our cars here so we have to rent one, which blows.  We don’t have internet at the house, so I haven’t had a chance to work on my template lately.  Hopefully I’ll get it taken care of soon.  Germany has been pretty enjoyable so far.  We haven’t really had a chance to explore off-base a lot, but the little we have seen has been awesome.  I can’t wait until we have a chance to make a weekend trip to Paris or Italy or Amsterdam or Belgium.  (Yeah, seriously, it’s only FOUR HOURS to Paris or Amsterdam!!!  And THREE HOURS to Belgium!!!  And ten hours to Tuscany!!!!  The possibilities are limitless!!!)(Ok, not really limitless, but damn close!!!)

You Never Know How Good You’ve Got It Until It’s Gone
Ok, I’m SERIOUSLY beginning to miss the States.  I mean, Germany is beautiful, but everything is just so different here.  Things are starting to get on my nerves a little bit.  Like planning BabyGirl’s birthday party (OMG!  She’s almost ONE!!!).  The BX has a SHITTY selection of party supplies, and getting a cake that matches one of the few options for supplies is next to IMPOSSIBLE.  This is the theme we’re going with, but I can’t find a cake to match it to save my life. 

So now you see how random and ADDish I really am. I’m surprised I’ve ever finished a single entry! I really hope I get some time to write soon, but things are just crazy. Kiemon is deploying today, so I have to worry about that. Luckily it’s only for two months, so that’s good.

So, once your brain stops hurting are you gonna come back???  PLEASE!!!???

Yesterday was my official one year mark of blogging.  Yay me!  No, but seriously, it’s been awesome.  I know I suck at the keeping up part, and I’m not really funny at all, and I’m not interesting, but at least I enjoy it when I do it.  So thanks to all you who have kept reading even though you’d rather gouge your eyes out with a popsicle stick.  I really appreciate it.

On another note, to follow up about the van, yeah it’s dead.  D-E-A-D.  It blew a headgasket, and it’s more of a pain in the ass to fix it than it is to just junk the van and buy a new car.  SO…we’re getting a new (to us!) car tomorrow.  It’s a 1999 Oldsmobile Alero GLS (I think?).  It’s only got 55,500 miles on it, and it’s in awesome condition.  I was tired of driving a minivan anyway.  So, wish us better luck with this vehicle, and hopefully we can drive it for longer that three months this time!

Because seriously?  They hate me.  Last night I had a mini-breakdown, and then today EVERYTHING is going against me.  Don’t believe me?  Let me elaborate.

First, I got boot polish on the carpet in our bedroom.  This stuff is impossible to get out.

Then I was on my way to work and got about half way here from the babysitters house and my van starts freaking on me.  A dash light was on and the van was beeping at me.  I’m mechanically retarded, but I figured maybe it was overheating.  I pulled over and opened the hood and let it cool down for a few minutes.  Finally realized that DUH! I can look at the tempurature gauge and see what’s going on.  So I continue on my merry little way.  Got almost to the gate to get on base that I start getting beeped at again.  So this time I think to check the gauge.  The damn thing was on “H”!  Like, maxed out on heat.  I flipped out.  I pulled over at the visitor’s center and popped the hood to try and cool it off. Yeah, I was only able to make it a couple blocks at a time before it would overheat again.  I was able to buy a bottle of coolant, but, again, I am mechanically retarded so I only thought to buy one.

THEN! I realized I had no idea where my wallet was.  NO.IDEA.  And I need to pull out money for the babysitter.

Then I burned my fingers trying to help one of the guys get a paper jam out of the copier.

Then I went home to look for my wallet.  To no avail.

When I got back to work I went to get out of my car and dropped my phone on the ground, and somehow in the confusion my keys dropped on the floor board, and when I bent to get my phone (which dropped, charging side down, into SAND) my locked door shut behind me.  LOCKING MY KEYS IN MY CAR.  Seriously.

The high point of my day was receiving my Decoration.  BUT! even that had a down side.  It was presented in THEE ghettoest ceremony EVAH!  In my office, in BDUs, being presented by a LIUTENENT!!!  Dude, it was pathetic.  (For anyone NOT military, they are usually presented at Commander’s Calls, in front of the squadron, in blues, and given by the Commander.  Usually at least a Lietenant Colonel.)

After that, my supervisor told me I could go home at 2:15….would’ve been great if I could’ve GOTTEN INTO MY VAN!

Then I had some jackass call and ask me to do 3 hours of work before close of business at 3:15.  I was on the phone back and forth with him until 5 when K-Man came and picked me up.

I FINALLY got home around 6:30, where I proceeded to trip going up the stairs and bust my knee and my elbow.  Effing fantastic.

Today has been thee SINGLE.WORST.DAY of my life.

D-Bo has recently learned a word I hoped I’d never hear him say.  Not the B-word or the S-word…..THE F-WORD!!!!!

“MOMMY!”
“Yes, baby?”
“Moo cow!”
“Yes, baby, that’s a moo cow.”
Short silence.
“MOMMY!!!”
“YES, baby?”
“Moo cow FAT!”
Oh shit.

Yes I now get to wait for the day that my darling son comes up to me and says, “MOMMY!!!!” “Yes?” “Mommy fat!”  Oh the joys of motherhood.

My mom called me a few hours ago and told me they have to put my puppy to sleep.  She is 16 or 17 years old.  She’s led a great life, but that doesn’t make her death any easier.  I feel guilty because I’m not there with Smokey and also that I’m not there with my mom.  She has to do this all by herself (my dad is working), and she loves Smoke just as much as I do.  It’s just a sad day for me.  I’m not a pray-er, but if you could just think happy thoughts for me I would appreciate it.  Thank you everyone.

Can someone tell me why the spambots love me SO.MUCH???  Seriously.  The fact that I get 200+ spam comments in a day is ridiculous.  Why can’t I get that many REAL comments???

As promised, I am back.  I totally left the post unended yesterday.  Sorry ’bout that.  Anyway, we had an awesome time at the concert and I know my mom was thrilled to get to go.  She’s been a huge Seal fan for YEARS.

On another note, we did a lot of sightseeing while my parents were here.  We toured three different castles and saw a bunch of historical stuff.  Like Trier and Heidelberg.  There are a bunch of pictures in my Flickr account.

Also, my dad broke his collar bone while here.  Fun fun.  He’s an avid bike (bicycle) rider, and while out for a ride one morning he flipped himself over his handbars.  Yeah, I just LOVE being woken up with someone yelling I have to take my dad to the ER.  We’ve haven’t had to deal with anything like that yet over here, so we had no idea what we were supposed to do.  I wasn’t sure if they’d see him at the base ER or if we were gonna have to take him to an off base joint.  Yeah, it made me a little nervous.  Thankfully they saw him at LRMC which is actually the hospital that all the wounded military members go to when they come from the desert.  Anyway, he did an awesome breakup job on his bones.  It almost broke through the skin, but luckily it didn’t.  I’m betting it made for an interesting plane ride back to the States. 

It was nice having my parents around, but it’s kind of nice to have my house back.  My mom was starting to stress me out a little bit MORE than I already am.

I also started to work a little bit on the family site, but all I really got done was a Flickr account for it.  Yeah, I’m a little slow on the site creation.  I can’t figure out if I want to build it like the kid’s sites, or if I want to make it into a blog layout.  Any feedback on what I should do with it?

Holy crap!  Long time no blog!  Sorry ’bout that. 

Well, let’s see….what all has happened in the last month+?  Oh, BabyGirl turned ONE.YEAR.OLD on June 21st!!!  How effin’ crazy is that???  We had a birthday party with our friends across the street because their little girl turned three on June 23rd.  She is getting too big.  She is walking like crazy and jabbering away.

My parents came into town on the 8th.  They just left yesterday.  That was an interesting couple of weeks.  My mom and I went to a Seal concert on the 9th and got to see Josh Kelley as the opening act.  I really like his music.  We had no idea who was opening for the show.  Anyway, I bought his cd while we were there and got it autographed and got to bs with him for a few minutes.  He thought it was awesome that I was in the military, and acted surprised that I didn’t think the people at the concert understood him when he was talking (hmmm….German people not understanding English, that’s crazy!)  Anyway, when we got home I Googled him and found out that he is dating the GORGEOUS Katherine Heigl, from Grey’s Anatomy.  I don’t know what it is about her, but I’ve had this girl-crush on her since she was in My Father the Hero.  I always thought she was drop-dead gorgeous and wished I could look like her.  And I also L O V E Grey’s.  Seriously.  (hehe)  Anyway, I just thought it was kinda cool that I got to talk with her man.  Mom and I had a great time at the concert.  No pictures, though.  We didn’t know if they would be allowed, so we didn’t want to bring our camera’s and have to take them back to the car.

Ok, I’m getting so tired.  I’m going to wrap this up for now, but I PROMISE I will add more tomorrow!!!